About Me

I am from Hungary, and I have lived with chronic pain for around thirty years. It does not come and go in the way many people imagine. It is always present.

I find the nature of the pain difficult to describe. I cannot compare it to anything else. It extends to my bones, muscles, skin, and tendons.

In recent years, I have occasionally had pain-free days, but only a few days every couple of months.

The constant pain occupies my thoughts. There is not a minute when it is not there. I would scream all the time if I followed that impulse.

At the same time, my cognitive abilities decline. My thinking slows down, and I speak haltingly, with effort, because the words will not come.

There is no sign of my condition in medical results. They have not been able to connect it to any known illness.

This is not a medical site and not a diagnosis. I am not here to tell you what is wrong with you or what you should do if you are in a similar situation. I only describe what I experience and what I go through.

I can only endure the pain by focusing on the positive parts of my life, making plans, and continuing to take care of myself. Without plans and a positive outlook, I could easily give up and lose control. Even so, it is very difficult. Some days are a little easier, while others are much harder.

I no longer expect doctors to find a solution. I see acceptance and different ways of coping as opportunities to make my life somewhat more manageable. I do not know whether things will ever change, but I will not give up.

I know that so many of you live with similar invisible pain. Your lives are filled with challenges that other people do not know or understand.

I cannot know exactly what you go through day after day. Your pain may be less or more intense, or different in nature. Still, the feeling of suffering caused by invisible pain is familiar to me too. Through this blog, I want all of you to know that you are not alone.

I wish you perseverance and strength in your struggle.